Someone you love is eight minutes into a story about her sister’s neighbor, and you’re listening the way you listen to everything: for the part you’ll need later.
Penelope, as you have mentioned, INTJs already know this. However, I don't really see you, as an ENTJ, understanding the INTJ's perspective. I'm not an INTJ, I'm an INFJ. I don't find INTJs boring, however, I find them fascinating!
I suspect that INTJs relate to ENTJs in much the same way that I relate to ENFJs as an Assertive INFJ. I find myself drawn to them. Their positive attitude feeds my soul. I like answering their questions, as well.
I suspect that an ENTJ's focus on results is magnetic to INTJs. I suspect that they enjoy helping you succeed -- but they also see your eyes glaze over the same way I see an ENFJ's eyes glaze over when my answer goes deeper than they wanted.
My Substack is a place for INFJs and INTJs to gather and have deep discussions about our similarities and differences. We are the two rarest personality types and the only two personality types with Introverted Intuition -- subconscious systems thinking -- as our Primary Cognitive Function. bobcascaddan.substack.com
Bob, this is the third comment from you today that includes that last paragraph. You’re on notice: if you want to post a new comment write something new.
I can’t imagine spending the energy to stay aware of all the perspectives you described. I find it easier to get to know people in such a way that I can help them understand my neurodivergence so that we both can be authentic and non-performative. The mental gymnastics your approach requires sucks the intimacy out of the conversation.
Hm. I don’t think relationships ever stop asking us to go out of our comfort zone. The only relationships where one person always meets the other person where they are is an adult to a child. The adult does all the adjusting so they can connect with the child.
But when there are two adults - neurodivergent or not - they still have to accommodate the other person a bit so they can meet in the middle. People cannot mind-read each other, and people never want the exact same thing all the time. So you can call this performative or overwhelming, but it’s the prerequisite to having close adult relationships.
I have a feeling that the best approach is to accept that you are not having a lot of these relationships. I myself have only two or three besides my kids. The rest are mostly professional.
Penelope, as you have mentioned, INTJs already know this. However, I don't really see you, as an ENTJ, understanding the INTJ's perspective. I'm not an INTJ, I'm an INFJ. I don't find INTJs boring, however, I find them fascinating!
I suspect that INTJs relate to ENTJs in much the same way that I relate to ENFJs as an Assertive INFJ. I find myself drawn to them. Their positive attitude feeds my soul. I like answering their questions, as well.
I suspect that an ENTJ's focus on results is magnetic to INTJs. I suspect that they enjoy helping you succeed -- but they also see your eyes glaze over the same way I see an ENFJ's eyes glaze over when my answer goes deeper than they wanted.
My Substack is a place for INFJs and INTJs to gather and have deep discussions about our similarities and differences. We are the two rarest personality types and the only two personality types with Introverted Intuition -- subconscious systems thinking -- as our Primary Cognitive Function. bobcascaddan.substack.com
Bob, this is the third comment from you today that includes that last paragraph. You’re on notice: if you want to post a new comment write something new.
I can’t imagine spending the energy to stay aware of all the perspectives you described. I find it easier to get to know people in such a way that I can help them understand my neurodivergence so that we both can be authentic and non-performative. The mental gymnastics your approach requires sucks the intimacy out of the conversation.
Hm. I don’t think relationships ever stop asking us to go out of our comfort zone. The only relationships where one person always meets the other person where they are is an adult to a child. The adult does all the adjusting so they can connect with the child.
But when there are two adults - neurodivergent or not - they still have to accommodate the other person a bit so they can meet in the middle. People cannot mind-read each other, and people never want the exact same thing all the time. So you can call this performative or overwhelming, but it’s the prerequisite to having close adult relationships.
I have a feeling that the best approach is to accept that you are not having a lot of these relationships. I myself have only two or three besides my kids. The rest are mostly professional.